Grew up with an abusive father, i am still traumatised

Today, I want to talk about an incident that happened to me some years ago, when I was younger. I want to tell all men out there, who are married and who are not yet married, that they should never disrespect any woman regardless of their age. ‘No one is allowed to beat a woman.’

I was 12 years old and still in primary school. I recall very well that on the week, my dad so violent and used to be so rude to my mom. My dad was from one of their periodic meetings, and as usual, he came home drunk. He regularly resided in the town and came back home occasionally to visit us. He could at times send mom some money for her to pay him a visit.

I have grown up not having the kind of father-daughter love I wished for, but we were at our best terms. My greatest fears soon started to unveil. Dad came home drunk and all messed up from the drinking. My mother welcomed him home and offered him water to wash up. My father mumbled inaudibly and burst out in rage, pouncing on my mother with blows and kicks.

I saw myself a hero and tried to calm him down. I too got a proper beating. He was attacking us and throwing stuff at us. By chance, he tripped and fell next to the fire in the kitchen. I was really in awe, wondering if this was really my dad. We stormed out of the house headed towards the main road. My mother was unlucky since she couldn’t run as fast as me. She had broken her leg two years prior, occurring during a confrontation with dad.

Dad got hold of her and continued beating her. I tried to cry for help, but my screams bore no fruits. After about an hour, some men stormed into our compound and got hold of my father. My mother was able to run away. She had nothing with her, and we were offered shelter by one of her friends. Early the following morning, my mother and I left to her parents’ place.

I am the last born in our family, and my mother is in her late 40s. Things cooled down and my parents got back together. I was not comfortable to go back but I was too anxious to leave my father alone. My parents reconciled though the damage was already done. My mother lost most of her teeth due to the beating, and she struggles to eat any solid food.

Currently, my father doesn’t drink and there are no more fights in our family. However, I am still traumatized by all that took place while I was growing up. I have many sleepless nights because I am uncertain of what my father might do to my mom, or even me. I sob emotionally and only wish that all men can learn to treat women in a humane manner. Beating a lady only makes one less of a man.